My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
