hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
