He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
