his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
