i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize