3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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