I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this boner is exhausting
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize