no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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