How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
