You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Buhtt sex?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
