The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
