That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
