he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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