When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
