u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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