how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
