that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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