i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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