I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
