hell yes lets make some ravioli
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
