Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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