what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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