I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize