you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize