i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
