some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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