Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
