the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
