Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We need a shit load of segways right now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
