it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
