I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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