Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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