Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
