hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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