They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
