Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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