I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize