enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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