Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
