I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
