i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
