I accidentally burped into my bong.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize