Pappa wants mamma naked
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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