So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
