Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
