Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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