Do you still have your period?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
