saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
