What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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