32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
