the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
