Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We were destined to go to rehab together
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
