This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
