I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
