What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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