I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
