also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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