I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize